The nineties wasn’t a particularly kind era for women. Minimal make up, plastic accessories and crop tops aren’t usually go-to items when it comes to dressing to impress.
But apparently it’s back – and if gaudy neon and three quarter length everything are your thing anyway, then you’re in luck. However, there’s plenty of ways trying the look for the second time round without looking like Mr Motivator.
One of the best things about nineties fashion was that trainers weren’t just for P.E. You could finish netball, and then head straight out without your socks ever having to smell the fresh air.
New Balance have been a bit overlooked over the past decade, but the simple design would look great with a pair of super skinny jeans (Topshop Joni in any colour would be perfect. Please forget anything you remember about bootleg trousers for now, nobody’s eyes have readjusted to those yet).
If you’re after something a lot flashier, look no further than Nike X Liberty. Don’t expect them to be an incentive to get you working out more though, you’ll probably spend a lot of time just looking and admiring.
Crimped hair was a school disco essential, and as long as you didn’t run a brush through it afterwards, everybody probably thought you looked quite cool. It’s a look that is generally remembered with embarrassed affection.
Give your GHD’s a rest, there’s been an update to the old favourite. Crimping has had an update, and are no longer tiny two centimetre bumps, but deep waves.
The nineties was probably a lucrative era for hair colourists, especially if they had a plentiful selection of My Little Pony shades. Hair chalks have replaced hair mascara, but they don’t look any more attractive. So if you’re thinking of experimenting with colour, ombre and dip dying is much less likely to have you waking up with huge multicoloured regrets. You can either get your hairdresser to do this, or do it yourself from a box for the full retro experience.
What to wear on your top
The strappy top was a nineties staple, and luckily they don’t tend to feature in too many cringe-worthy photos from our youth. Silky strappy tops are great under blazers, and are pretty versatile over anything you want to wear on your bottom half (excluding peddle pushers and trouser skirts, these do not look good with anything, and that can not be stressed enough). River Island have a good selection, but you’ll find something much prettier in underwear departments.
Crop tops are much kinder this time round, they don’t require a teenager’s tummy or belly chain. By wearing with a high-waisted skirt, you can show off the most toned part of your middle. If it feels like you’ve got too much on show, try something with longer sleeves.
Nineties fashion warning: Just because Topshop have started stocking them, does not mean that you should purchase jelly shoes. Not even when holidaying in an extremely secluded location. It is a proven fact that when you look down at your feet, you will feel no emotion other than deep shame and self loathing.